June 30, 2008

Enough of Nothing

I envy friends of mine who know exactly what they want to do and where they want to go in life. I envy their courage to risk it all. Like for instance, people who know that at a certain age they want to tie the knot or others who study for a certain course cause they know being a designer or a singer is all what they want to be. I wish I had a singular dream like theirs. For me, this week I’ll intensely believe that I can only work in a music related business and then next week, I’ll probably want to be a writer and then who knows, the week after that I’ll resolve to continue to refine what I’m already doing with hardly anything changed.

When I was in college, we had the book ‘The French Lieutenant’s Woman’ by John Fowles on our syllabus. Last night I watched the movie. The verdict? As usual, the book was better than the movie.

My sister and I were talking about the things we’ll need for our new place. We’ll have to make do with just the necessary stuff for the first few months and then slowly start buying furniture and other appliances. That’s the price I pay for living on my own, I guess. It’s a cool feeling in a way though. After all, isn’t growing up learning to take care of yourself?

Sometimes I tell myself that I’ve got to change but then I’ll be different. I feel like I already am. I’m just afraid that if I’m satisfied with the way I am right now then where’s the impetus to make it better? Feels like I’m all tied up in knots.
Are you going crazy reading this? Then you’re feeling what I’m feeling. Now I’m not sure what point I was trying to make.

CK, the new hotness, came into work today, in formals. Been working with him for a year now and I’ve never seen him formals. I can’t say enough about it. He looked pretty smart.

Yesterday, I turned on the television, just in time to see British rock band Athlete’s ‘Wires’. It’s the lead single from their second album, Tourist. The track sounds hauntingly beautiful. It’s been said that the song was written by lead singer Joel Potts, after his daughter was born prematurely.

‘Running, down corridoors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know’

June 28, 2008

Attempts to Heal Myself

I got up at noon and that was the best sleep I’ve had in months. Had breakfast and checked Facebook for awhile. Caught up with my sis. Haven’t seen her all week. Moving- out- day is coming very close and I still have to let my parents know about the decision. Today was pretty uneventful. Cleaned my room and watched The Bank Job.

I generally write when I’ve got something bothering me and writing it out is a way for me to find expression for the unease, pressure or rage I feel. I’d prefer writing things I’ve experienced, with the intention of being objective, where the magic is between the lines. I need to do more of that.

This guy I like came online today. Somehow we don’t talk like we used to anymore. Maybe he expected that a night of fun would just be that. Apparently, I took things seriously and I seemed to have scared him away. God, I miss him. Kind of inspiring in a way that he left to do something he was passionate about. But also not. I’ll bet he hurt a lot of people. But it’s okay because he’s an artist, right? Or is it okay because we all hurt people even if we try not to? Why do I wonder? Whywhywhywhywhy. Whinewhinewhine.

So if you e-mail somebody a few times and he doesn't respond. There are three possibilities:

Possibility No. 1 - It doesn't matter if you send multiple mails or messages and get him irritated. He wasn't interested in you to begin with. Then he deserves the annoyance for being absolutely inconsiderate.

Possibility No. 2 - Eventually he gets to your many messages and responds since he is your soul mate.

Possibility No. 3 – If he never gets to your mails, well, you're just fucked and not in a good way.
Of course, if he still hasn’t written to you it’s cause he’s been so busy with something important and he finally checks his mail and sees the many messages from this total psycho who seemed kind of charming and funny at first but is clearly not someone he wants in his life?
Not that any of this is going through my head.

But if, by chance, you are reading this and still remember the drunken night at 13th Floor then please mail me.

Last Saturday at Taika’s was pretty insane. I’ve never seen a club packed so full of people dancing to Boney M. The crowd at most of these clubs is so funny. You have your regular clubber types… then your sloppy drunk types… and finally the most entertaining bunch… the middle aged types. I don’t know where I fall in. Used to belong to the first group a long time ago, now I think with a sufficient amount of alcohol in my body it’ll be the second type. I saw a guy in pajamas. Wish I had taken my camera with me.

I need to give my drum sticks away. They stare at me quite cruelly, a constant reminder of an unaccomplished passion. I figure if the sticks are just going to be sitting here, I should give it to someone who would actually put them to use.

I’m sick of being depressed. How do people who are happy stay happy? How do they ignore all the shit that happens in the world and not feel guilty? I really want to know and be like them.
I wish I was a better Christian. I think I’d be a lot happier.

Switchfoot's 'Only Hope':

June 27, 2008

Vexing the Purists

For as long as we’ve communicated they’ve also been ways to restrict it. In the present, every idea – be it written, verbally and musically is criticized first by someone or another. What seems like human right to one seems like rebellion to another. Expression, no matter through which medium, is always challenged and questioned. This was the main theme of the play last night. Beneath the humor, the rhythm and the choreography lay an important message – art, constantly the target of the Indian censor board. There were three characters that performed their best and made the crowd respond to each and every move. The director- Ajay Krishnan, too was part of the action. An onlooker. He looked very much like the director and the audience at the same time. It’s been long since I’ve watched a play and seeing it last night only made me tell myself that I’ve got to do more of this in the future. So Runa and I decided to make it back to Rangashankara on Sunday for the play titled ‘Double, Triples and Quadruples’. The posters looked interesting and I figured it’s the best way to spend the Sunday evening.

Ajay Krishnan - Director

Laugh lines :

“Our stars are not aligned. Your rahu is in my khetu” –
Vinod’s response as a female politician to Gulshan’s question about why they
cannot be together, as he presses against her.

“Dry humping is part of
Indian culture” – Gulshan’s response as the senior censor official about why
pelvic thrusts shouldn’t be banned in films.”

I’m done with four trips through Coldplay’s new album- ‘Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends’. And good news for all you Coldplay fans- It’s everything you wanted and expected to hear, maybe even better. When we heard the premier of the single ‘Viva La Vida’ on the radio, Runa thought that they had experimented with a new sound because there was none of that trademark piano sound. Hey Runa, good news! If you liked the old piano based Coldplay sound there are songs here for you. With the four boys fronted by Chris Martin each and every song on this album is unyielding and different from beginning to end. I highly recommend this album to all Coldplay and non- Coldplay fans. Kudos boys for the stellar work.

Yesterday, at the play I met an old friend- actually an old crush. Met him for the first time during Christmas of 2002. He was a tabla maestro, a photographer, a DJ and he had the weirdest hairstyles that made me adore him all the more. We spoke for hours on nights that seemed endless and when we’d meet it would be so hard to keep a straight face and not look hopelessly in love. He left to Mumbai a few years ago and I never heard from him until last night. It was great catching up with him. He looked rather ordinary with all that crazy hairstyling gone. Not that that’s a bad thing.

For my late night caller. My new Coldplay favorite - 'Violet Hill'

June 26, 2008

Clash of Keys and Notes

Today is the day for theatre! It’s the last day for the play ‘Butter and Mashed Bananas’ to be shown in Bangalore and I can’t wait to see what this very talented director has in store for the audience. If you are anywhere in the vicinity of Rangashankara, Jayanagar, I strongly encourage you to go and treat yourself to this play I’ve heard so much about.

There has been an artist that I’ve been meaning to write about for sometime now. He spells raw talent and it has been a pleasure to get to know him and his music for a year now. Airto Edmundo is a singing sensation from the Netherlands and to be honest he might sound pretty much the same as countless other contemporary artists hitting the airwaves right now. I would like to point out that he’s pretty much the same, but not exactly the awkward lone R&B artist everyone expects to hear when they tune into the Ryan Seacrest show and VH1. It’s just that every time he sings a song it sounds spot on great and his voice makes everything slightly rose colored. So check out his music on YouTube or on MySpace and five years from now you can sit back and say, “Well, I saw homemade videos of this guy before you even knew who he was.” And of course you can thank me for giving you this little insight into the musical gem that Airto is, but I’d rather you check him out and listen to all his music – covers and originals.

I think my musical taste seems far from the music most of the world seems to be engrossed with and to be honest most of the bands I write about might never ever make it due to lack of contacts and music biggies pushing them to the top. But I sense real talent in these bands and I really love the songs. I’m just doing my part out here- sharing the love through music.

Airto singing 'Superstar' (Luther Vandross)

June 25, 2008

Admiring Arnel

I've been told that I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies which I totally agree with. My folks wanted me to see a shrink once but I guess they’ve grown used to my wackiness.
Washing my hands every few minutes- lady Macbeth style. If a picture was placed in a certain angle, then a certain angle it had to be in the next time I saw it. Any slight move to objects in my bedroom would mess me up totally. I’m not that bad now. I’ve seemed to have gotten used to the fact that I can’t clean up the place or myself every waking minute.
When I think that I could have a problem or a phobia, I just take a look at the people around me and I can easily find someone waaaaay whacko than I am!

I love my job, especially the process I’m in right now. I finish most of my work in the first few hours of the day then I get myself a hot cup of tea- not nice, just hot and that really helps when you’re working in an igloo. For the rest of the day it’s me and the radio. I always tune into the Jeremy Bradley show in the afternoons and keep in touch with the music on the charts. I laugh when I think how much better my workplace is now than my previous Hellhole with a certain tight-pant boss. I really hope to last long in this place.
My mom has been trying to be really nice to me lately. Her way of making peace with whatever's happened. I actually like it and I’m going to miss it. I haven’t given up on moving out. It’s something I just have to do. But thanks maw…for all you’ve done.

This post is dedicated to Arnel Pineda. If you haven’t heard of him then you probably need to expand your daily Youtube diet to include more than just this lonely corner of the web. For those of you who are still in the dark, Arnel is the new vocalist of the band Journey. My friends and I have been watching his videos and listening to him ever since we heard about him last year. He was part of the Zoo and I have never heard anyone sing ‘Faithfully’ or ‘Roxanne’ so damn well. I’m waiting for Journey’s new album to come out – and this I believe could be their greatest album to date. As part of The Zoo, Arnel's moments of brilliance are quite obvious in each and every video.

The first time I watched a video of The Zoo - Arlen Pineda wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my mind with a subtle intimacy that is both comforting and quietly desperate. From the opening seconds of the song there exists a brilliant quality to this voice that remains mysteriously intangible after repeated listens. His songs are for everyone. Music that reaches out from someplace barely imagined yet entirely recognizable. Songs from our past that speak kindly to us even in the present. Songs that you can listen to time and again.
While some acts bring a combination of multi production and layer to their music, Arlen Pineda relies on letting art speak for itself and the magic of talent shine through.

Here's Arnel Pineda singing 'Roxanne'

June 24, 2008

War in the Brain

No matter how much people at work get to me nothing can dampen my excitement right now. I happened to find myself on Ido Zmishlany’s (of Lion of Ido) page and...

......... drum roll please............

I was ecstatic to find the name of my blog on his site. It’s an amazing feeling when a band you love recognizes you. This is what was written:


June 10, 2008, 1:21 pm

“We are getting some blog love so I thought I’d share. The whole idea of doing a cover like “No Air” was to reach out to new people with a song that they already know. We tried to make it our own… and I think we did. I love the way it came out. All you haters can kiss my ass … Check out what some of the blogs have been saying:




evuhleen corner

If you read anymore blogs… send them my way. Thank you sooo much to the people who took the time to write about our little band.

- Ido”

Sigh! I think I’m in love with Ido!

I’ve been listening to P.J Harvey’s ‘This is love’. The song is a combination of spunk and great singing style that attacks your senses. Even if her name doesn't get your attention, the turbo-charged sound will prick your ears.

We’re having a week long foosball competition at work. Very exciting to see people buckle under pressure. My friends insisted that I spend time there and cheer for the teams. So I exhaled pretty noisily and followed the crowd into the gaming room. I tried very hard to focus on the game but my mind was filled with Ido, my situation at home and Imcha, a friend I miss so very much.

Life isn't too terrific today, but my dear friend Runa made it significantly better by telling me about another play on Thursday by the same director of ‘Hair’ – Ajay Krishnan. This one is called ‘Butter and Mashed Bananas’.

It’s really cold in the office. The guys handling the air conditioning must be getting kicks watching us freeze our asses off. It’s becoming really hard to type with the icy air finding its way into my bloodstream. Here goes a call to the reception and I’m hoping they'd do something about it.

Here's a track by one of my favourite bands- Lifehouse 'You & Me':

June 23, 2008

The Modernist Dance

Yeah, I’ve been on this weird trip and I just wish this phase would pass. I usually make it to church Sunday mornings, no matter what. It’s not just a way to reinforce my beliefs; it also gives me some time to be alone. Who knows I might hear a word or two that would help me. This Sunday felt just worse. It was that sick empty feeling crawling in my stomach when I watched couples come into church. It really bugged me that I cared about this so much. I hate it when I start getting down about being alone when there are so many great things about being single. I love my independence, my freedom to do whatever I want when I want to. Yet as I sat in church I looked at wives caressing their husbands and husbands stroking the necks of their wives while the preacher spoke. I just couldn’t help thinking, I want that. I have this fabulous life and I just want someone to share it with. I don’t think that’s much to ask. I don’t need a boyfriend, I just want one. The only thing that bugs me about meeting men at church is the idea of some of these churchy types. Girls, you know what I’m talking about. The plain Joe, dorky, I love you Jesus type that wants to impress you by kissing your father's ass. But I figured there has to be other people out there like me. More spiritual than religious?

Last night I was having what I’d like to call Social Anxiety Phobia. The idea of being home with my folks filled me with panic and I couldn’t stand it. I tried making plans to see the Galeej Gurus’ concert at Alliance Francaise but even thinking about it, I could tell, wasn’t going to help. I wanted to have a low key night and talk to my lost friend who should be back in B’lore now. The rest of the gang went for the play. It didn’t feel like I missed out on anything really. Sometimes, even though you’re surrounded by people, you can still feel completely alone.

My team lead, Ruan, Runa and me called RJ today. She’s back in L.A and her roomies threw her a huge welcome back party. Man, I miss her. Ruan says that every time she uses RJ’s hairdryer she can smell her. Every time I look at the colour of my hair I’m reminded of her.

Heard ‘I am the Walrus’ by The Beatles. That song makes no sense to me but its super fun. I love singing it out and annoying my friends. :D There is actually a course in the U.S called ‘Beatles Appreciation’. Lennon had supposedly explained in many interviews that these were just nonsensical lyrics that he often liked using. He made this song sound really catchy and fabulous yet the lyrics are crazy and have absolutely no meaning. I’d still like to think that there’s a message in the beginning:

‘I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together’

This version of the song has been sung by Bono and played by the Secret Machines.

June 22, 2008

What Normal People Hear

Here I am, bored as hell on a Sunday evening. Folks have been complaining that I never spend enough time with them nowadays and that I’m much undisciplined. By undisciplined of course they mean I do the things I want to do without asking their permission. My twin and I decided we couldn’t take the shit at home anymore. It isn’t final as yet, but we’ve zeroed in on a place and we’re planning to move into it next month or so. Something close to home so that my parents wont feel abandoned and far enough to call it our own.

Last night I dreamt of the crooner and how awfully nice it would be to see him again. I hate that he just moved on and never bothered to give me an explanation. I’m so mad and hurt and I can’t help but wonder why I couldn’t get him to stay with me.*blah* I should really learn to let him go. I hate that feeling you get when you get something you’ve always fantasized about and it doesn’t turn out to be what you thought it would be. I guess that’s life. Some things just can’t be explained.

I was looking at this picture of Bipasha Basu looking all toned and polished. Pretty scary, huh? Yet, we’re starting to believe that this stuff is real, that skin is supposed to look like that.

I think I’m having an existential crisis. I don’t even know what that means...but it feels like I’m going through something like that right now.

What’s the point of anything? I need someone to argue with.

Taika’s wasn’t so great last night. I wasn’t up to it and watching everybody else jump around didn’t make me feel better one bit. I met one of my ex’s friends. He saved the night or was it the alcohol??

Cancelled plans to go for the play. Mood’s killing me. I watched this really cool movie yesterday morning called '21'. I looooovvvveee Jim Sturgess.

Read this somewhere: ‘The earth is round. That means we’re all on the same side.’

For my crooner 'Not one night' by Mr. Big

June 21, 2008

Losing Grip

Every once in a while a band comes around that transcends categorical imperatives. The Unseen Guest is such a band. Declan Murray and Indian boy Amith Narayan’s music is a combination of experimental folk and alternative sounds with a jazz feel.
I don’t really know what the elusive ingredient is, but I’m certain that they are a set apart from the crowd of musical peers they're in. I heard their music for the first time in the radio station I worked at a couple of years ago and I quickly found myself coming to the conclusion that such a band’s music is to be revered and will remain special to me for a long time to come. For me, they come out with simply ‘the right sound’. I couldn’t find their CD anywhere or the song that I liked so much online. I’m still on the hunt.

You can listen to their music on MySpace and on YouTube.

I ask myself how I handle all the bullshit at work. But I guess once you’ve given up your dreams there’s a surprisingly larger realm of possibility that appears for you.

What’s left when you get old and don’t want to turn out like those hippies who want to party all the time and you don’t want to be soccer mom either? Too soon to be thinking about this stuff. I’ve got some partying to do tonite.

Have a great weekend y’all. Here's another one by Holly Brook called 'Curious'

June 20, 2008

Concerto from the Outspoken

Tired, very tired. Feel like my poor little brain has been over-worked. I finally finished categorizing 600 cases… Phew! Hoping next week will be better.

Facebook is really addictive. There are tons of classmates and childhood buddies who want to get in touch with you. I think my addiction to facebook isn’t as bad as some others (atleast I’d like to think so). I must say that it’s better than any other social networking site. It held my attention longer than any of them did.

Dexter is addictive too. I coaxed my friend into watching it with me and now she loves it so much. Today, we watched the last episode of the second season together. It was quite disheartening to let the serial killer go. Boo Hoo!

My twin wants to talk to me about her new boyfriend. Everytime we’re together, all conversations lead to her new romance. It’s past annoying already. Then again, I have other things to worry about at the moment.

While my parents don’t approve of me drinking alcohol, me and alcohol get along pretty well. I’m a beer kind of person and luckily for me, the people at work like beer too so at company parties, beer always flows freely!

Yes, Euro 2008 is here and my family’s glued to the television. No particular favorite team for me. I just like watching soccer. It’s short and what a better reason than watching good-looking men in shorts running on the field. Cristiano Ronaldo, Nuno Gomez and Michael Ballack - you make soccer worth watching!

Colleagues at work are making plans of leaving. A couple of months ago I wanted to join the rebels and quit too. But with the new process I kinda like it here. It’s no more reviewing and writing 70 character ads but some serious investigating- man! I feel like a cop. (Flashing my badge) ‘The online police are here. Advertisers fret not!’

Tomorrow it’s clubbing at a particular club on church street! Dance, dance, dance some more and drink myself silly! The music’s not going to be very nice. Electro and house - whatever that is. I’m guessing after a couple of pitchers of beer it won’t really matter what’s playing. All that dancing is going be the first real exercise I manage to get in two months!

I feel like there’s so much I can get done in one day but I never have the energy to do half of it.

Hope everyone else’ world is doing fine.

New one from Lee Ann Rimes called ‘Nothing Better To Do’. Been listening to it all day.

June 19, 2008

Blurred Out

I finally get to blog from home. My laptop has been giving me some problems the last couple of weeks. I nearly fainted from shock when the fella fixing it told me my music had been wiped out. Turns out he was playing a prank. Too bad I wasn’t so forgiving.

Mister N, I kinda miss you but I’ve got too much of an ego to get back with you.

I just want to bury myself right now. I just don’t know why I put in time and put up with people who annoy the hell out of me.

I would do anything for some pork ribs right now. Fragrant and juiced up just right. Yum yum yum!

Spoke to Pratz yesterday. Oh I miss her so much. Team lead at work wants to go partying this Saturday. Whoppee! I haven’t been to a club in a long time. So this is all soooooo exciting for me. Okay, so here's a questionnaire i took recently:

Three screennames you have: Eveline, Evuhleen, ?

Three things you like about yourself: My love for music, my sense of humour (however crappy it is) and my eyes.

Three things you dislike about yourself: Lack of belief in myself, impulsive and a bit superficial.

Three parts of your heritage: Tamilian, Telegite (That’s as much as I know of my heritage)

Three things that scare you: Not being in love, not being liked and my dad.

Three things you are wearing right now: Black? My hair in curls and a nose ring.

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment): Coldplay, Ingrid Michaelson and Lion of Ido

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given): Understanding, acceptance and lots and lots of talking!

Two truths and a lie (random order): I’m a drama queen, I can drive a car and I do not know how to use a washing machine.

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeal to you: a big smile, smells great and someone who sings well.

Three things you want to do really badly right now: Meet fugdy ;), be more proactive about my life and laugh alot more!

Three careers you're considering: Magazine editor, makeup artist, ?

Three places you want to go on vacation: Tuscany, Morocco and Cairo

Three kids' names: Elvis, Taberah and Jason

Three things you want to do before you die: Adopt kids, take my friends on a vacation and marry the love of my life.

My favourite from Dave Matthews Band - 'American Baby'

June 18, 2008

Don't Turn The Page

I met the gang last night at the café’ with the delicious tea. Seeing my best friend again reminded me of how much I loved him. Every time I listen to Goo Goo Dolls it takes me back to a crazy vacation we went on together. Hell, I’m so madly in love with this guy whose CD collection could easily be mine. Last night it seemed that he liked what he saw and I liked what I saw. While we were talking, this one, I thought, might be a keeper. After 8 years he’s still my favorite person to talk to.

I don’t lie about my age. If someone asks I always tell the truth, but I never volunteer to.

Listening to Hip Hop isn’t exactly a chore for me because it’s tough not to groove to a great beat but I don’t listen to this particular genre all the time. When I listen to music at work it must be something that’ll calm and slow me way down! Anyway, before I digress. I listened to Kanye West and Estelle’s new track ‘American Boy’. The track has really been growing on me so I downloaded it. This is for you, Fudgy!

June 17, 2008

That Which Is Fundamental

My dear old friend – sheenz - called up last night and we were just talking about my situation with Mister N. I’ve decided to not talk to him ever- which is really a coward’s way out, but hell, anything to lose him. I’m going to meet up with sheenz, kau, divz and hopefully fudgy tonight, some of the people I used to hang out with during my college days. It’s really nice to know that as the years pass and our stress levels rocket, some people are still are as crazy as ever. Even though I do not meet up very often with this group of friends, I always have so much fun whenever I am with them. Time stands still during such meetings and we are all transported back to our college days where our biggest worries revolved around assignments and exams, not just people in the rat race!

Busy as I am, I’m very happy to make time to go to the same café with the delicious tea! Once in a while, I have a life too. I can’t wait for the evening. Indulgence and gossip over dessert. Maybe I should be doing this more often!

I got a call at 2 in the morning from Pratz. She sounded like she wanted to talk. Whenever she calls we plunge full gear into a miss you-love you session! But this was so early in the morning, so it was more like an exchange of grunts, at least from my side. Really miss you, Pratz. Sigh! Remember our crazy times in college? It all seems just like yesterday; I can't believe how fast these four years have flown past!

These past few months I sleep a lot less and spend a lot less time at home. Many days, I come home to sleep and am off to work the next morning. As an example, I have not spent more than a couple of hours with my LemLem! My gym clothes are taking a break in my cupboard, just as my fat is multiplying!

We all feel differently about certain issues and my opinions are worth something to me, so please be kind.

When I went shopping on Saturday, I dragged my cousin along through all my favorite shops. So in and out of shops we went, but the only stuff I ended up buying was for myself! Its official, I am a shopaholic!

I’m listening to Sara Taveres’ ‘One Love’ and it’s really hard to stop your head from swirling with her voice hitting the right chords- very sensual and very fun. This is what music is missing most, today. Feeling. Everything is just so… formula like nowadays. It takes talent to break through the barrier of what you want people to feel when you play or sing. There is a filter that only the talented can make it through.We need more of them, and less of the formula.

June 16, 2008

Legacy of A Touch

Watching an out rightly hilarious video RJ recorded of me braying my drunken self away!!
On the evening of June 13th, the work gang met up at RJ’s place drinking and screaming out popular love songs. I would’ve never ended up having such a crazy time over the last 3 months if it hadn’t been for RJ.

Was getting tired of the music I was listening to so I asked my friend to send me some of the music he was listening to and that’s how I got to know Sara Taveres. I’ve heard about twelve of her tracks and she makes you want to dance. Give ‘Balance’ a listen I’m sure it will be hard for you not to love it.

The one thing which I gained during my weekend was more weight!! A cousin made a surprise visit to India and I was given the responsibility of showing her around the place. I had to cramp the shopping, eating and partying in a day. That was exhausting! From the moment she stepped out of the airport until she left we walked A LOT. Obviously all that walking didn’t help all the eating we did.

Yesterday, I met my ex-colleagues at this really crowded café. I don't know why the masala tea there tastes sooo good. I’m a tea person and I drink it as many as 6 times during the day. But yesterday, I had two pots of it in one hour! Man, I am still dreaming about the tea I had there.

I refuse to say good bye, I would rather this be a short period of separation before we see each other again. RJ left India on Saturday, home to L.A. I did not spend much time with her before she flew so I shall try to somehow make it up in this blog entry and with some help from one of my favorite songs at this moment. Although both of us are quite different in terms of personalities, we seem to have connected in just a few months. And of course there are the countless little things that have drawn us together. She is one of the few people I’ve known whose heart is so transparent and painfully beautiful. RJ – My wonder woman- Just wanted you to know that I will really miss you and dream BIG!

Going for a small concert this Sunday and then for a play called ‘Hair’. Runa tells me it’s going to be good and so far, when it comes to concerts and plays she hasn’t been wrong.

Anyway, I am signing off this entry and off to watch the latest entertainment, starring Me!

The song is by Holly Brook 'Like Blood Like Honey'

June 12, 2008

Voltage High

The monsoon is turning out to be monsoon I've been waiting for. I’m pulling behind this one now more than ever, so that you guys out there get to listen to the melodies that are worth listening to.

A certain up and coming neo-soul, bluesy/pop artist has swung my heart. This blend of soul, acoustic, folk, old-time blues and pop is all stitched together with 20-year-old guitarist and vocalist Justin Nozuka’s swirling notes. This guy may be young, but he’s shown the incredible talent he possesses and not to forget, gives me a damn good time. I especially like his version of Otis Redding’s ‘Aint No Sunshine’.

Here are some of his songs I’ve listened to and like:

‘After Tonight’
‘Save Him’
‘I’m in Peace’

‘Mr. Therapy Man’
‘Hollow Men’
‘Set Me Free’

Listening to this band ‘Raagapella’. They’re going to perform on Saturday at the Opus. I’m still deciding whether to go for it or not.
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep all week and I’m waiting for the weekend to rest my head on my own bed. About N- How the hell do I lose him? Help! Anyone!

Last night was dinner and drinks at a friend’s place. I was too exhausted to enjoy anything. So it was grub and then snores… Tonight, it’s drinking and bowling with management. Wonder, how crappy that's going to be.

June 11, 2008


I have been shouted at many times by numerous friends about not turning up at celebrations and not being able to make plans. So for all of my friends that I haven’t been able to see in awhile, I really do miss all of you. I miss the bitching sessions, the bimbo conferences, the shopping, the boy talk, the pigging-out sessions and long telephone conversations. When I get home from work I am just so tired that I don’t have the energy to do anything but bury my arse in the soft couch at home and do nothing. My dear cronies, please continue to include me in your invitations even if I don’t always turn up, you are constantly in my thoughts.

There are so many things I want to catch up on, just to list a few so if any of you reading know the answers, please keep me updated:
1) Ho Ash! Any changes to your overactive social life since the last time we met? ;)
2) Pratz! I miss you baby! Will you be coming down to India soon and have you been to any undiscovered locations yet?
3) Cath, how are you getting on in Canada?
4) Anybody discovered some new exciting places for food and shopping?

Chatted today with an old friend from college who never fails to make me laugh out loud. Miss S., I would join your crazy hunt if you really do decide that there’s a man who comes close to fulfilling your list of 7 must-be’s!

The above are just a few things that popped into my mind as I write this. Now, I need to get back to work again and to Ella Fitzgerald…'When i get low, I get high'

June 10, 2008

Dysfunctional Harmony

Enjoying clarity helps you discover certain things about the universe. Life has a way of leading you into other directions and all it requires you to do is focus your energies there.
I am glad that there are so many independent musicians out there making great music and sharing it with the world.

A Rule I try to live by - Listen to people that aren't played a hundred times an hour on the radio. Know about the local talent. Seek out new music.

I don't buy CDs every day. It’s not the albums that come out in big music stores that profoundly alter your life. It’s the type of music that you find of some not so famous guy who sings with soul that makes your heart feel heavy. I’d love to get involved with music, concerts and sounds from people I like. The more support the bands you love get, the more they are able to make music for art’s sake.

Last nite I met RJ and the new guy for dinner. We’re trying to squeeze in as many meetings before the week gets over. RJ leaves on sat and her farewell party proves to be drunken-fun-disaster! I didn’t plan on going out for dinner last night but then I need to get my mind off plenty of things. Like Mr. N, who thinks he was being honest but totally shattered my image of him possibly being my knight in shining armor. Apparently he believes that leaving everything he had in another place and coming down to the homeland will make my heart melt.

I wonder how my lost friend is doing now. I sorta feel sad for being too tough on him. But I’ve learnt that you’ve got to let something’s go when it doesn't make sense to hang on to it anymore.

CK thanks for the proposal. Getting down on your knees... Ooh.. that must have hurt! hehe

I wonder if I’m going to die alone. Probably!

Have a great evening. I enjoyed the ramble.

Let There Be Noise

A new rage that’s hitting the western world and its only time before it hits ours: the new "married singles". According to news the ‘married single’ is the newlywed woman who isn't joined at her husband’s hip. She is her own woman. Her new husband moves into her place, she has a great career life and her own bank account. This spells empowerment for women, women to be financially independent of men at all times. I think its best that women never have to stay in marriage because they can't afford to be alone. The Cinderella story doesn’t hold true anymore really.

Amy Winehouse. This chick is nuts, but she can sure put out a catchy tune. I loved the whole 60’s feel she’s got going with her music. Not going to rehab never sounded so good. Never mind that she could really use some weeks at the latest celebrity flush house.

Far and away the best thing I listened to on the radio today was this woman who goes by the name of Ingrid Michaelson.

June 09, 2008

How Peculiar?

I could never be one of those fast talking career girls who are quirky and sharp as a razor like Carrie Bradshaw. I’m too flawed to be like that.

Everywhere you go you see couples walking down the street, holding hands, chuckling about something that won’t even be funny on a normal day. And seeing them doesn’t help the fact that I’m trying to staying away from relationships. Every man I’ve ever been with has been completely distinctive, imperfect, dented and weird. There was one guy who would drive me up the wall with stories of his conquests, the political craziness in the county and quite obviously, we didn’t get along very well. I’d have to say that it was by far the most chaotic relationship I’ve ever been in. I swear, there were times when I had really violent thoughts towards him. I’m sure he felt the same about me. He’d always go on about how very negative I was about everything he did and the music he played.

Why do I attract the mismatched socks, the awkward, those lacking in social skills? Well, maybe it’s because that’s exactly who I am and maybe why things don’t work out is cos I always meet another me. In spite of all it, I can love an oddball. They’re lovable, unpredictable and on occasion very sexy- that’s if you’re lucky.

You know how sometimes you get so angry, you can’t really think of anything to say? I'd end up puffing, start sentences, reach midway and then stop. I’ll probably use my hands to express the speed of my thoughts. That was me last evening. I’m sorry Mr. N; I can’t really get over what you’ve told me.

Grand Old Youngster

So the things I’ve done lately... Listened to the new albums of Coldplay (Violet Hill), One Republic (Dreaming Out Loud), Jason Mraz (We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.), Sam Sparro (Black & Gold) and Justin Nozuka’s single ‘After Tonight’- he's not so popular or widely known but he ought to be!

On a personal note, I’ve been celebrating clarity for the past few days. Too bad, it cost me a friend I’ve known for some time now. Celebration, anticipation and farewells. I can't decide if I'm going to love or grieve for breezy bright June.

After listening to the tracks from Coldplay's new offering, I believe they’ve come up with a new recipe that their fans will adore and want a lot of.

It's been a couple of days since I’ve had my strange enlightenment, but I've yet to sort out my life, buckle down and figure things out completely. At least the luggage has been emptied, though some of its contents are scattered across in my head. I've got a huge mess to clean up before I try to move onto something or someone else, which includes all the memories he’s left me with. I've been swamped with images and am having a trying time at work. No time to read my seven precious books of Narnia and no time to think much about anything really. But when I heard Jamie Cullum’s track ‘Twenty Something’, it made me sit up and smile. It starts out a little slow but then gets really good.

I imagine he has a look in his eyes that says he's already miles away and when he says, "Someday," you know that "someday" will never come to pass.
KD Lang’s ‘Surrender’. Though I didn't care much for the other songs - I thought she nailed this one. Beautifully.

Stocking up on ice-cream, tea and cookies and ideas about which is more amazing: A parallel universe or that we are one of a kind in this universe.
I can’t dress all corporately no matter how much I try. I've noticed the quizzical looks I get from other employers in the same campus who probably wonder why a working lady dresses like a college-going kid.

I’m glad to be back at work on a Monday and doing what I love to do: half a day of work and the rest of the time- write. Here’s what I’m listening to right now. Landon Pigg’s ‘Coffee Shop’

June 08, 2008

The Part That Doesn't Fit Is Me

I felt kinda off this weekend. Been staying at home and watching Dexter. After awhile being alone was just torturous so I forced myself to get out and get social. Met up with a couple of friends at this continental restaurant. Liked the company, loved the new guy!

I was stunned to hear some kid, a little younger to me, call me ‘Aunt’. Yikes! Seriously, I know I’m a couple of months away from becoming the half of 50, but my teens aren’t that far away, are they?
In related news, how about a round of applause for a guy five years younger to you, who thinks you’re the cutest thing on this planet. ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’- that should be the song playing right now for me.

When I was younger it used to be smells that do it for me. Now smells just make me remember people I detest. It’s songs that help me remember and connect things now. I remember that Keane’s ‘this is the last time’ played in my head every time I saw this guy at the radio station i worked at. Whenever he saw me he would have his arms outstretched, waiting for me to give him a hug. I loved his arms and that hug.

Dad told me that it’s been some time since he’s heard me sing. So I think I’m gonna sing for him something soon, probably on Father’s Day.

At work everyone’s foosball crazy. For the uninitiated, the objective of the game is to use the men on the rod to maneuver the foosball into the opposing goal. Sounds easy? It’s not – at least not for me. In the interest of transparency, I suck at Foosball. I can get through about 15 seconds of the game after that I just resort to cheating. Runa rocks with impressive speed and CK's working his way to making everyone else seem like amateurs. Now bowling- that’s a game! However bad I am at it, it’s addictive. Like homemade tea, season 2 of ‘Dexter’ and crack cocaine addictive. So much so that I’m trying to figure out if I can weasel someone into getting me a bowling ball for my birthday. September, if anyone’s feeling generous… :D

Anyway, that’s it – I’m done for now. Nite nite my hungry readers.

June 07, 2008

Killers in the Audience

I definitely earned a great Friday night with a cold pitcher of beer, maybe a couple of Long Island iced teas and ultra memorable music. But all I remember was having a little more than I was supposed to and flirting away with some white guy who I’m sure I’m never going to recognize if I do see him again. There was a throng of dope heads and lonely peers on the scene, and I really felt like some cookie-cutter act tucked away in a corner of the room. Luckily, my frothy little friend drowned all feeling and injected me with a bout of mischievousness. I know I feel like this when I haven’t taken a 5 minute break between my drinks.

I remembered moments of my life when I had done this sort of thing on a regular basis and at the median age of 24 I feel like I’ve changed so much- from carnival hip hop girl to mad rock listener, all this spanning a few years. Through ups and downs, erratic output and an unpredictable trajectory it’s always been music that has exerted a powerful creative presence in my life. Incidentally, my relationships also reflect the bond cemented by music.

The past seems to be dipping its ugly little head into my now seemingly perfect world.
They say that sometimes you have to walk away from what you know so well in order to find who you really are. And there’s a reason why certain moments and certain men are in the past. While giving second chances seem fair, settling for less isn’t an option. And this has what the past few days have taught me. Truth seeks Soul.

Stayed at home all day to recharge. Perhaps rethink some things. Listening to Counting Crows version of Ryan Adams’ "Come Pick Me Up".

June 06, 2008

What My Pulses Say...

I spend an unreasonable amount of time listening to music and I can't bear to be without it for more than five minutes. I can't remember the last time I had a list less than 70 to 200 songs waiting to be listened to. One of my most-exciting moments is finding a new incredibly talented band that none of my music-snob pals or listeners have ever heard of, which I then get to introduce them to.
This is where I start talking about my latest musical fascination – Lion of Ido. Vocalist, pianist, guitarist, percussionist and accordion player Ido Zmishlany and his band are fairly new to the popular music scene, but have enjoyed getting to know their contemporaries. The song that got me introduced to their world was their rendition of Chris Brown and Jordin Spark’s ‘No Air’. I’ve been known to fall in love quite fast and I have to admit that I think I’m already falling in love with these guys. Their MySpace page is full of catchy pop/rock songs that make me bop my head and sing along while I play them at work. It was really hard for me to close the window when I logged out of work for the day. They are so damn likable and delicious and I think Ido Zmishlany has the funkiest haircut!
Okay apart from his good looks I think the songs sound like… like… Wow! I mean, they’re really good. I actually read a few of the comments for their ‘No Air’ video and whoever listened to it gave it *really* high marks — which was intriguing. So I’m gonna get back to their music now and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

For more info on Lion of Ido visit their MySpace page

For their ‘No Air’ cover music video visit YouTube.com

Raw, kick ass music that'll have you screamin' for more -- it's Power Play!

Each month, this blog will feature bands you need to keep your eyes open for, so be sure to save this page for future reference.

June 05, 2008

Sampling: Mobile Music

Another list of songs.
I’m going through the tracks on my phone and here’s why I’ve chosen them among so many others.

‘Drive’ by Incubus – For all my friends who’ve hung out with me a little too much, you’ll probably know that this is a song I can never get enough of. My eyes were glued to the screen the first time I saw the video- pure genius!

Memorable Lines: ‘Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself,
my light is found’ .

‘Plush’ by Stone Temple Pilots – The song gets you all charged up. I’ve listened to it a lot of times but it really hit heart deep when Magni sang it in Rockstar Supernova. Remember him? The baldy from Iceland who performed consistently well? But of course, the good ones never win.

Memorable Lines: ‘Where ya going to tomorrow?
Where ya going with that mask I found?’

White Stripes ‘Seven Nation Army’ – When this came out, I would eagerly anticipate the video everyday. This is for the insane and neurotic times!

Memorable Lines: ‘Don't wanna hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it comin' back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you’

Coldplay ‘Speed of Sound’ – Aside from the fact that it was recorded by one of my favorite bands, this song means a lot to me. It makes me think of my previous relationship. I know he was kinda a loser, but I also know that he’s unlike any other guy I’ve been with… in a good way.

Memorable Lines: ‘How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?’

Switchfoot’s ‘Meant To Live’ – This song pretty much completes me and I don’t feel like I need to explain why.

Memorable Lines: ‘We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?’

Whitesnake’s ‘Is this Love’ – This has been my favorite song for the longest time and has become an important staple in my life. It makes me remember my past and all I’ve been through. It’s just an absolutely beautiful song. A few of my friends and I are the only the people I know that are under the age of 30 and are avid listeners of the 80’s, but I suggest that you start listening to some of the music from this time.

Memorable Lines: ‘It’s times like these
I can’t make it on my own
Wasted days and sleepless nights
And I can’t wait to see you again’

Gary Moore’s ‘Still Got the Blues’ – This song, though amazing, has special meaning because my sister and her husband walked down the aisle to the instrumental of this song. I especially love the way the song makes me feel. The sound of the guitar seeping through every pore of your being. It’s one of those songs where you have to quit doing what you’re doing and just close your eyes and listen to it. I really couldn’t live without this song.

Memorable Lines: ‘I found out that love
Was no friend of mine
I should have known
Time after time
So long, it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you’

Sara Bareilles’ ‘Love Song’ – This song reminds me of great summer days with my friends. Actually, it reminds me of any day with my friends.

Memorable Lines: ‘I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me’

Chris Brown’s ‘With You’ – Even though this is a love song, it’s what I sing to all my friends. People that have been there for me. People who understand me. People who are really good friends of mine. I even sing it to my 1 yr old niece because I love her from head to toe.

Memorable Lines: ‘Then I'll be straight
Baby, you're the best part of my day’

30 Seconds to Mars ‘The Kill’ – for the times when I feel evil… which happens quite often.

Memorable Lines: ‘What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?’

Tokio Hotel – Shrei (Scream) – I like these kids. They’re hot and play good music and it also reminds me of the confusion that came with ’07. It makes you want to headbang.

Memorable Lines: ‘SCREAM 'till you feel it
SCREAM 'till you believe it
SCREAM and when it hurts you
Scream it out loud
SCREAM 'till you feel it
SCREAM 'till you believe it
SCREAM and when it hurts you
Scream it out loud’

I can’t think of a better way to end this post than with the last song on my list - Paramore’s ‘Misery Business – Aaaahhhh! My fight song! That's where the band has come to reside, musically: deep in the pocket, that ever-punk feel through improvisation and collaboration. This band can entrance an audience, hypnotize it and hold on to it until the song is finished.

Memorable Lines: ‘Second chances they don't ever matter,
people never change
Once a whore you're nothing more,
I'm sorry, that'll never change
And about forgiveness,
we're both supposed to have exchanged
I'm sorry honey, but I'm passing up, now look this way’.

June 04, 2008

Shouting at the Dead

I’ve got to mention a gorgeous little gentleman (GIG) and while I'm at it I should mention that he rescued me from an awful day. We’ve seen each other at events and chatted a bit but never really spoken before. So, we met up yesterday and discussed Jim Morrison (Yum!), Women’s movement, Tamil and the ex I was trying to avoid looking at. I will spare you the description of the convulsions that racked my mind as I contemplated whether I should walk up and say hi to my ex or not to. GIG kept looking at my straying eyes and to drag me back to reality, he raised his voice and all was well- he had my full attention. But after a minute or so I would try sneaking a peek again and GIG would repeat the same exercise.

After awhile I figured he had had enough of my distraction and asked me if we could leave. I finally gathered up the courage, went up to my ex and said hi. After that was done, GIG took me to the parking lot and just when he was about to take out his bike, he asks me if I wanted pani puri… It’s been ages since I’ve eaten chat, so I said yes.
Apparently, the guy serving us knew GIG so he said something to him in Tamil that made GIG blush! Something about me… I didn’t bother to ask for a translation.

I got a call from an old friend. She’s working on Vodafone’s new advertising campaign. She needs interesting faces. Asked my twin and me to make it. Got to go for a screening first. Will let you know how that goes.

I am in love with him and can’t deal with the fact that he’s moving on to someone new. Every time we see each other I manage to have a smile plastered on my face. This of course was made more difficult by my constant uncertainty about whether me smiling like that would come across as just plain creepy. As soon as he would walk away I would commit ritual suicide in my head because I don’t really know what else I can do to put myself out of my misery. I’d jump out of my balcony but I’m only on the first floor so I don’t suppose I’d cause myself much damage. Pesky things infatuations can be!

"Miles away,
No; you're never turnin' back,
I just can't wait anymore
Miles away,
Nothin' left of what we had,
Just when I needed you most...
You were miles away..."

- 'Miles Away' by Winger

One-Note Wonder - The Bangalorean Eccentric

I’ve never been much of a performer. But it’s really what music does to you before it even reaches the audience. That’s the only reason why singers keep performing. It goes beyond fame, wealth or the audience. Why do I write about music or who do I sing for? Well, it’s plain and simple: I do it for me. I do rob others if I do not share it. But I rob myself most of all if I do not write or sing. A friend asked me once- ‘Do you love music that much?’ ‘Hell yeah!’, I said. “If I didn’t, there’d probably be something wrong with me.” The excitement I get from it is much like when little Lucy found that huge wardrobe. There’s something spiritual about it. Something natural. Something raw. When it feels right you don’t need to apologize for it or justify it.
Are there dimensions to music that drive us as performers or writers- Dimensions related to art? I think so. I believe if we never had these natural drives, then we are something less than artists and our art may appear unreal. Sometimes our fear cuts us off from normal feelings. We often doubt our drives. But I guess the motivation one experiences as an artist transcends ambition.

Ray Charles once said, “I realize everybody’s gotta eat and a lot of people have jobs they don’t like. But when it comes to music, if you can’t get turned on by what you’re doing, then go to work at the post office.”

Shadowing John!

Something else I read on HIS blog-

“What now, then? I can only really say for myself:

Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities.

Stop acting careless. In fact, care more.

Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts.

Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art.

Wear hoodies to dinner.

Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

I'm going quiet now.”

- John Mayer

June 03, 2008

Musical Amnesia Cured

Today, on my way back home from work I was talking to Runa about songs that make you cry and songs that make you happy. I had so many in my head but couldn’t really zero down on any one particular song. So now that I have had time to think about our little topic, Runa, we have a list-

Tunes that make me smile:

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
David Bowie - Let's Dance
Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - The Time of My Life
Starship - We Built This City
Toto - Africa
Van Halen - Jump
Frank Sinatra’s - The Way You Look Tonight
Beatles- All My Loving, Come Together
Dave Matthew’s Band- American Baby
Sugar Ray- Every Morning and When It’s Over
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
Beautiful Day - U2

While these blockbuster hits are as varied as the artists who've performed them, they all share some common cord: They make you feel good.

That may be the secret sauce.

Now for the list that makes me all gooey eyed:

Cry Me A River - Julie London
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
Here Without You- 3 Doors Down
I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan
Sick Cycle Carousel and You and Me- Lifehouse
Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch
U2- With or Without you

Had a lot more to add to the list but these so far are so perfect and blistering that now I’m off to liven up the mood with some serial killing action with Dexter.

View from the Crack

Over the last few days, it seems like I have been putting myself in situations with someone that I don't feel right with. And before I get too deep into this, I've been giving the whole situation a lot of thought. He is such a great guy but I'm not physically attracted to him and I don't really see how things can go back to friendship. I know I should never look at it with an end in sight and its not like I'm saying that I will give it sometime and then reconsider, but then I do have to think about the possibility of the end of whatever little we have right now so that I can be prepared if need be. I don't know where this will go. I don't know if I want this to go anywhere. I don't know even know if I want to deal with it all right now.

Was I the only one who thought that David Archuleta was gonna win AI since the people who are usually fantastic never win? (I'm talking about Michael John and Asiah Epperson)

Listening to Paolo Nutini… he’s been getting famous. Heard his album when it came out last year. I think the Puma ad got his face showing up everywhere now.

Today I woke up with somebody’s singing and then I realized the person singing was me.

I have absolutely no memory of what I was singing. I’ve been known to say things in my sleep and hence I always have to get up every hour in the night just to check that the noise freaking me out wasn’t my own. I thought I sounded better in my sleep….

Oh… back to Paolo Nutini... Lyrics from his song 'Who's The Fool'

"Now who’s the fool

Taking everything and always wanting more

Now who’s the fool

We see the times we had too prescious to ignore

Now I’m looking at you

What's so clear to me

Now I’m not that sure am I the fool"

Sounding the Image

John Mayer's blog manifested itself for a VERY interesting read.

"What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.

This is about us all.

This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."

This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.

This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.

This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that."


Insiders, Outsiders and Old Boys: Covers Redone

Boy, do I love cover versions - when a band you love and a song you love come together and it works... doesn’t get better than that. Listen to John Mayer’s version of Hendrix’s ‘Wind Cries Mary’ and ‘Bold as Love’, No Doubt’s version of Talk Talk’s ‘It’s My Life’, Cat Stevens’ ‘Wild World’ redone by Mr. Big, Counting Crows doing ‘Big Yellow Taxi’ and dozens more – good’s not the word, interesting - maybe, versions of the songs.

I love the new Opus Kroaknitghts Album.Been listening to it all week. My favourite’s are Venky’s ‘I Left My Heart in San Francisco, Alexis D’souza’s ‘Turn Me On’, Rooshad’s ‘Spiderman’ and Aditya Menon’s ‘Suck My Kiss.’ This CD just proves that Bangalore has oodles of talent.

June 02, 2008

"It's All Good"

Weekend was great! The place, the pool and the company- overflowing stacks of fun! But there was nothing else in my head besides writing on my blog. Clickity click cliiiick.

On our way to and from the resort we celebrated connections with the Foo Fighters, Goo Goo Dolls and Dire Straits. I have to admit, that I actually liked a bit of the hip hop and the trance tunes that were played in the car. All together, the entire trip was awesome cos everything was done in a close setting with friends.

It was when I was lazing around in the pool, that’s when I was able to lock down the band whose tune was playing in my head. ‘Rascal Flatts’ singing ‘Winner at a Losing Game’. You can’t miss the band’s trademark country sound that’s sweeping through music systems of melody lovers. The musical fabric is inspiring and the lyrics just swirl your heart into a puddle of melted chocolate, giving both diehard and new-to-the-wagon fans something to scream about.

RJ leaves soon to LA. After nearly 6 months of trips, drunken fiestas, giant group hugs and guy bashing, we lose a piece of the group. She introduced me to Industrial music - music I had no idea existed. Very danceable, very accessible music. It explains why all sorts of people, be it those in metal t-shirts, pop fans , people in black or why the dancing crowd, like it.
Jenn, u define impressive. Thanks for always being fun. Gonna miss you!

“Shiny happy people holding hands

Shiny happy people laughing

Everyone around love them, love them

Put it in your hands

Take it take it

There’s no time to cry

Happy happy

Put it in your heart

Where tomorrow shines

Gold and silver shine”