Written on 04 March
Saturday today, and I'm feeling lethargic. Very lethargic. I’ve got bills to pay, friends to meet, a room floor to clean, books that I badly want to read...but I just don't want to budge. I sit by my computer; watch Law & Order Season 8 (P.S. It’s particularly good. Mariska Hargitay is terrific and Chris Meloni is certainly an interesting actor to watch), and read the news.
I dream of running a marathon, but don't do nearly enough exercises to make it through the first five minutes. Not that I would run a marathon even if I were in form. Where does one run a marathon here anyway? Maybe I could go to the store. Maybe I could tear myself from this desk and start with the messy floor and work my way to an appetite.
Maybes. Life today is packed with maybes. What am I going to do? Where will I be one year from now? What will I accomplish a couple of hours from now?
Friday began a little badly. A slight hiccup and tears during the beginning of the day. But never mind, it got better. I had a nice lunch with some of the other colleagues for the first time, as in nice conversation but not so great. Runa’s left the company. She gave in her papers last month and we all knew this was coming but we just didn’t anticipate how much we’d actually miss her.
Later on in the evening, we went to a lounge bar for dinner and a little alcohol therapy. Runa (a very famous name here on my blog) and I have the kind of friendship that endures hurdles. We talk about everything with no unease, no spiritless conversation. Several years ago when I noticed how a few friends of mine had grown distant and ultimately faded away only to hear from them on Christmases and birthdays, in some way I hoped Runa and I would be friends for a very long time, for always. And especially in the last month I kept reminding her that we must never lose touch all the while holding back tears that kept rushing forward. The good person that she is didn't laugh; she saw how serious I was and in her own way told me that I need never worry where she was concerned.
And this is how Friday ended: I lay in bed - very buzzed - opened my mind to those wonderful moments we had shared through college and work, and then let the alcohol do its job. I managed to wake up a little past eleven o'clock on Saturday to wash my face and brush my teeth, and to write this.
Runa, I'm lucky to have a friend like you who cares for me so damn much. You are so beautiful and so full of grace. I don't think I've met anyone as gifted as you, or anyone with such varied interests. All our years together, I've enjoyed talking to you about writing, books, men, music and love. You’ve been a splendid friend - wise beyond your years, kind, thoughtful, and blessed with the ability to converse with just about anyone. Thank you. Not merely for the gift of the years of friendship but also for putting up with me through rolling eyes, flaring tempers and impulsive choices. Thank you for being around when I most needed you.
In the ability of being competent to talk about what interests and inspirations are so clearly evident, I am always trying to keep myself in touch with as much music as possible. There's so much out there, it's enough to get you feeling a bit tense, however, I'm surfing through it one artist at a time.
After waiting for months for this album by James Morisson, I wasn't really sure if I'd want to hear it for concern of understanding that it might not be what I was hoping...which the case wasn’t as this album is something as wonderful and musically clever as his previous albums with the grace just short of a masterpiece. At this point I'd say that what I was looking forward to hear didn’t disappoint at all. There's not a song that obviously stands out apart from the rest and there is also positively not a track that should have been removed. It really is rather a relatively good album, melodically as well as lyrically. I'd like to think that most people like what they listen to because it sincerely calls to them. And this one does to me.
For you, Runa. To this day, I marvel at how our years together made me respect you because you totally defined what a good friend should be like. Love you!
James Morrison with ‘You make it real’
April 06, 2009
Written on 04 March