February 14, 2009

So, I’ve been a little stressed lately. I seem to respond to it by becoming an emotional wreck and also ridiculously quiet. One minute I’ll be fine and the next I’ll be like OH GOD I CANNOT WORK HERE.

Today I realized I was unhappy, and it wasn’t my job; it was my career.
I pursued a career that I thought was stable and that would make my parents proud of me—I just wasn’t doing anything I enjoyed. And I realized that doing these things everyday you don’t enjoy does not help coming home and writing things you do enjoy, you burn yourself out. The best thing that can ever happen to me, creatively, is unemployment. And then I’m pretty sure things will be fun again.
So now I just have to get a job which I love, where my mind gets to play all day while my mouth and hands are on the clock and hopefully…..hopefully, I will have the strength to achieve it.

I am absolutely terrified.

More than that though, the thought of reaching my goal makes me feel absolutely thrilled.

That said, I’m so damn tired, and I feel pretty guilty about it. I suppose that I won’t feel guilty as long as I remember to keep everything in perspective. I don’t really know what else to say. I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything.
Tonight there’s going to be a jazz concert at Good Shepherd’s Auditorium on Residency Road, so if you’ve ever met me and you love jazz then come on out. Tickets are priced at 750, 1500 and 2500 Rupees. Runa and my new friend Yuvi will be in attendance, along with rumored appearances by former exes, people I might or might not currently like so much and HOT Dave Weckl. I guarantee you have never heard anything more brilliant than this band.
I’m sorry, but I won’t be posting any music here on EC today. I seem to be having some problem with uploading my music and my gadget refusing to work has somewhat wrecked the process of writing a music review.
After the problem is fixed I can once again resume my position as the clever music ace. Until then rest assured that you, dear readers, are not forgotten and I do not aim to continue neglecting you. I shall return.

For those of us who are single and happy this Valentine's Day, I have compiled a very short list of activities:

1. Create your very own project, in which one writes lines to (or at) your ex (or exes). Here is mine:

Reminisce the times when I
said I disliked kissing in public?
I meant just with you.

2. Get good and drunk.

3. Throwing paper pellets at happy, life-loving couples always brings a smile to my face on days like these.

4. Think about how every story you've ever read and every movie you’ve ever seen that has told you that love is something you feel for someone who is the perfect best friend, the perfect companion, the perfect lover, the perfect intellectual soul, and the perfect conversationalist.

Evidently only a crazed madcap would expect to find all these in one individual. So, just as obviously, this can't be what love is.

So this was my recognition about love. And now my question is: so what the hell is it?

5. The story of Saint Valentine's was that he, by order, was bludgeoned and then killed. I think it would be right for each of us to remember and celebrate today by selecting someone to pound and then murder. I already have two in mind.

This for now. Feel free to add to the list.

Last show on Sunday. After that I’ll update y’all on the Attakalari Festival.