The recent happenings in Bangalore have had an adverse affect on me. I’ve been thinking…what if today was it? Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one with the thought. My old friend was so shaken up about Friday that I decided to meet up with him last night. My existential loneliness, my doubts about whether I fit in the human race would be shoved someplace, not so pretty, for the evening and I would find short-lived but blissful friendship in the company of a friend. I really didn’t expect ending the night with a crush on him. So now it’s time to give my friend a little nickname- hmm…Dex. I used to call him that when we were in college. Dex and I have been great friends but we’ve also had this unusual chemistry between us for the past eight years. I met him at my college fest. He was cute and I had just dedicated three songs to him. I’m so glad I was so determined to get to know him.

Last night we had a lovely date, we laughed, we talked, we gossiped about mutual acquaintances but no stretch of imagination allows me to understand how I could have a crush on him, since the date was so ordinary! After dropping me home and then placing a kiss… on my cheek (no no, I wasn’t that lucky), things are as murky as ever. Evidently the universe has decided to complicate my life, like it wasn’t already complicated enough and in an effort to bring clarity to my life I have decided to not call him for some time. I feel so vulnerable. What's to protect me from the sticks and stones of an outrageous fortune? I think I’m just going to ground myself at home then I’ll never have to worry about having unnecessary infatuations. Don't you wish you were me? Then you could be this healthy all the time. Why didn't anyone tell me that the Gin Blossoms was the kind of band you can’t miss out on? I had never heard anyone tell me that they were so amazing that I had to check them out. The Gin Blossoms are an alternative power popster band from Tempe, Arizona and they are incredible. My favorite at the moment is ‘Until I fall away’. Their music has been out there for a long time. I just haven’t heard it, until now. This song has classic melody, delicious harmony and an unforgettable chorus, all which adds up to an obvious hit single. If for some reason, this band hasn’t made its way into your collection, check it out. This song was released a long time ago- 1994, to be precise but it’s worth another listen if you skipped over at it at some point. You might just hear flashes of your own life in it’s notes.

This blog was created after a conversation with a friend made me realize that it would be great to write about two things I love the most- music and me. Hmmm…I worry sometimes if I have my priorities right.

Most of my friends are married and many of them are very happy but I hate it when they think you aren't happy because you aren't married. Of course because I'll be happy if I get a joint checking account with my husband, develop into an utterly needy wife and then hate myself for getting into something I didn’t want to and live just a totally miserable life. And it's not like you can actually tell him once you're fed up of him, "I'll see you sometime." intending never to see him again as long as you live.



Okay, I came across this blog and I don't know how I've lived without it all these years. Everyone has got to go here immediately to read one of the funniest blogs I've read online. I have only one thing to say today, which overshadows all other happenings of the day: I remembered an old song- 'Crying in the rain'. Aside from one sloppy ballad-like offering I can definitely assert that the music is quite good. Personally (and this is just my humble opinion), I dig this version of the song. The vocals are so emotional, and on the whole, the song reminds me of being alone on my terrace... only to have it rain. Oh, wait it is… I labored searching for this track. It was tough, but I do it out of love for the music.

You want the music. So here you go:

Attempts To Heal Myself (2)

Last night I watched this really amusing film called ‘Employee of the Month’. It would’ve been a pretty good night except that I discovered that this guy I really like cheated on this girl I knew. And guess who the other girl was? ME!

Doh!!

With this discovery everything felt stressful. I really don’t know how to handle this sort of thing yet. But it feels like I’m getting used to it.

I’ve been asked why I constantly upload pictures on facebook. Why do I feel the need to capture moments? Why can’t I just experience it? I think that I’m just trying to pass on one amazing experience to someone else.

One of the things my folks have never understood about me is that I’m very much unlike the person they think they know. I feel like I’ll never be able to explain how I would rather listen to music all day and not search for my future husband or spend time learning to cook. They’ve never felt the bass that thumps your veins or felt the rhythm of a song in their stomachs or understood people pumping their fists when they listen to something they can’t contain their excitement for. I’ve spent so much time away from them in new and different situations in this crazy world, how could I expect them to understand? That’s one of the reasons why I want to move out - there’s just so much of a disconnect. Even if they can’t comprehend why I do the things I do, I hope they can accept it.

Heard a song on the radio today. Used to be one of my favorites when I worked at the radio station. I used to play this song every time I had control over the song selection. I sure do miss my days there. The band’s called Johnny Hates Jazz. They came up with music known as New Romantic pop during the 80's. While the band appeared to be trying too hard to tug at pop-loving hearts, their music was catchy. So for all you 80’s lovers, go ahead and take a listen to this track – Johnny Hates Jazz ‘Heart of Gold’. Enjoy the music.

Admiring Arnel

I've been told that I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies which I totally agree with. My folks wanted me to see a shrink once but I guess they’ve grown used to my wackiness.
Washing my hands every few minutes- lady Macbeth style. If a picture was placed in a certain angle, then a certain angle it had to be in the next time I saw it. Any slight move to objects in my bedroom would mess me up totally. I’m not that bad now. I’ve seemed to have gotten used to the fact that I can’t clean up the place or myself every waking minute.
When I think that I could have a problem or a phobia, I just take a look at the people around me and I can easily find someone waaaaay whacko than I am!

I love my job, especially the process I’m in right now. I finish most of my work in the first few hours of the day then I get myself a hot cup of tea- not nice, just hot and that really helps when you’re working in an igloo. For the rest of the day it’s me and the radio. I always tune into the Jeremy Bradley show in the afternoons and keep in touch with the music on the charts. I laugh when I think how much better my workplace is now than my previous Hellhole with a certain tight-pant boss. I really hope to last long in this place.

My mom has been trying to be really nice to me lately. Her way of making peace with whatever's happened. I actually like it and I’m going to miss it. I haven’t given up on moving out. It’s something I just have to do. But thanks maw…for all you’ve done.

This post is dedicated to Arnel Pineda. If you haven’t heard of him then you probably need to expand your daily Youtube diet to include more than just this lonely corner of the web. For those of you who are still in the dark, Arnel is the new vocalist of the band Journey. My friends and I have been watching his videos and listening to him ever since we heard about him last year. He was part of the Zoo and I have never heard anyone sing ‘Faithfully’ or ‘Roxanne’ so damn well. I’m waiting for Journey’s new album to come out – and this I believe could be their greatest album to date. As part of The Zoo, Arnel's moments of brilliance are quite obvious in each and every video.

The first time I watched a video of The Zoo - Arlen Pineda wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my mind with a subtle intimacy that is both comforting and quietly desperate. From the opening seconds of the song there exists a brilliant quality to this voice that remains mysteriously intangible after repeated listens. His songs are for everyone. Music that reaches out from someplace barely imagined yet entirely recognizable. Songs from our past that speak kindly to us even in the present. Songs that you can listen to time and again.

While some acts bring a combination of multi production and layer to their music, Arlen Pineda relies on letting art speak for itself and the magic of talent shine through.

Here's Arnel Pineda singing 'Roxanne'