October 28, 2008

I go through phases of dating and phases where I just can't be bothered with it. But when you’ve been through as many experiences as I’ve been through you tend to come up with more clear-cut realizations about what you want in a relationship. Not stuff like hair color or salary (although I must add that there is always the minimum package size requirement) it's more about their attitudes and how that might reflect on me.

And that's how I came up with today's new rule:

I need to be adored!

I've got a reasonably healthy self esteem. When I look in the mirror, I am fine with my reflection. I am not a beauty, nor will I win pageants, but I am a good looking woman. But I am not content with my partner thinking that I am simply reasonably attractive. Nope. My significant other has to think that I am the most gorgeous thing he's seen. Luckily for me, I've dated men who genuinely loved my appearance.

Yes, it's self esteem, not my-man-makes-me-feel-better esteem. It isn't about needing someone else’s validation entirely, just that in my case, doubt sets in if I am not sure that the man is physically completely into me.

I also don't seem to mind if my man thinks I've done something stupid, or made a bad judgment call. That aspect of my self esteem is powerful and tough. This adoration requirement only seems to manifest in the physical.

So, if we've met and you think I am gorgeous, then please continue to be in touch. If we've met and you think I am just ok, then by all means keep it movin'.

This chick needs adoration.

Thank you.

(It doesn't take Freud to tell you that I wasn't complimented much as a kid. Must go and tell my lil niece that she is beautiful...)

There's a bold new era to get cracking on! I thought, once, about possibly posting frequently about ‘Audioslave’. Unfortunately a lot of good ideas here at EC have come and gone without really taking root in my blogging routine. And that might be a shame. The track I’ll be posting today is titled ‘Like a stone’. Personally I love this track, but I’ve had a love affair with Chris Cornell and his particular brand of music for a while now. He’s all about making great music. This track is one of those songs designed to punch your brain in the face!

I know this blog started out as a strictly music blog and then I allowed my personal life to bleed over and contaminate the lovely pages of EC. The trend has continued and I just decided to continue writing this way. As the sole writer, author and creative personality behind this blog I can afford myself the luxury to pretty much say whatever the heck I want.

For a long time I’ve found comfort and peace in the songs I’ve put up on this blog. If you’ve been reading, or just listening, here on EC for any amount of time at all I do hope that you’ve found yourself enjoying the music as well. That being said here’s an excellently polished track by the Californian Rockstar. Enjoy.