My day pretty much sucked. Possibly the worst day ever. I had to be at work and in that time I learned a hundred different ways to curse my company. I was really looking forward to getting out of there and going to the nearest polling booth because the whole voting thing was figuring pretty big on my head. And every minute spent at the office made me feel guilty for not thinking about the elections.
Anyways, so after voting at the local police station, I walked out in the best mood, all cheery at strangers and adding a little skip in my step like I was in the opening scene of a friggin musical. I swung around lampposts and little birds helped me put on my stole and a pup carried my bag home. Then all the lights were dimmed and Gene Kelly started singing and I’ve said too much already but it was so wonderful.
Anyway, for those who voted, good job. I want to kiss you all but I shall hold myself back!
It’s the reserved side of my phase and I can’t seem meet new people or go outside without feeling some kind of apprehension. This time, the occasion presented itself and I couldn’t say no.
I force myself to go.
It was raining too violently to be wearing an off-shoulder top and a crocheted overcoat, but nothing could stop me from making it to the club. I keep thinking to myself that at this time on a Friday evening, I’m usually unwinding. Watching a movie, finishing off a post and putting away my worries until Monday. Instead, I’m heading out. For days I’ve been trying to understand about how cluttered I feel. There have been new occurrences, both nice and unpleasant, leaving me with a combination of exhilaration and discontentment. The most I can say is that it makes sense, how I feel and I can map out every sensation to a reason.
We find an auto. In it, I listen to the rain but I can’t get my head in the right space. Nothing fits. I’m not feeling gloomy or glad or cynical or bouncy.
Stepping off the auto, my anxiety begins to suffocate me.
I can’t breathe. Maybe some alcohol will help scarf up my nervousness. We visit a club. I walk out into the open aired area. It’s raining quite lightly now. There’s shelter by the door. The intense cool air sucks the breath out of my lungs. I quickly light up the cigarette to get rid of it.
Minutes pass. Resentment and acceptance fill my heart, the former because of my oversight, the latter because there isn’t anything I can do about it.
The rest of the night was spent club-hopping, gulping alcohol and meeting ten new people. At the end of it, I just wanted to go home and shower.
I go through these phases — wariness and boldness, assurance and doubt for a purpose. As much as I need steadiness in my life, I need uncertainty. As much as I need bliss, I need distress. Otherwise, life would remain inert and there would be really nothing to type about.
And as much as I enjoy the comfort of a clear and simple life, I need to welcome the unexpected, the unease, and take a pass on the club thing.
Incubus’ new release, ‘Love Hurts’ is part of the album ‘Light Grenades’ which is tough to define in words.
In a recent interview with Incubus, Brandon Boyd expressed his thoughts on the song:
“It’s almost a little bit of a cliché. It is talking about the idea of love and find love and having it be purity and having it not be tainted by your misperceptions, misconceptions, expectations and transcending the sort of more worldly aspects of the love experience.”
The band is famously known for their very distinctive sound which is a combination of heavy metal, punk, hip hop, surf rock, post-grunge, progressive, folk, and space rock and grunge with funk, jazz, and psychedelic. To me this band tends to paint extensive soundtracks for rainy days and lazy afternoons spent contemplating life. There is something here that transcends the simple clichés of radio ready music and the single song download. Here is a depth and maturity, patience, not often found.
I understand that not everyone can check every blog every single day; I know I can’t, but hopefully through this track ‘Love hurts’, I’ve found something everyone can enjoy.
And enjoy it you shall. And really, if this track is on a blog you might as well check it out. Cheers!
April 26, 2009