I know I've written along these lines before, but do you know why it matters? Because someday you're going to be old, and things are going to change. Your body is going to turn on you. I already know where the L-5 and L-6 discs in my back are, because they're wearing down a little, and when I ask the doc how we lick this, he says "It is what it is. You're not 18 anymore." I have 3 gray hairs that I insist are "mutant clear hairs" but they're not. They're just gray. And right on time.
Chances are you won't get hit by that proverbial bus people always talk about when they're smoking a Lucky Strike and tipping back on their chair. Odds are also on your side (thank God) that you won't ever get the news from your doctor that you have only months left to live. But you know what he may very well tell you? That you need a new hip. Nobody ever says "live it up because someday you might need a new hip" but it's the truth. They don't say "Be good to one another because in time we'll all know a medical lab technician on a first name basis" but it happens every day.
My point is that whenever that someday comes, when I slide into the MRI scanner and the thing starts spinning up, spitting lasers and screaming into my ears, I may very well say to myself "I wish I had just one more of those summers."
Being a young man is kick-ass. Being a young man who knows that being a young man is kick-ass is what it's really all about. And as a musician, I'm finally learning to distinguish the notes that matter from the ones that don't. I'm also getting better at knowing those notes as a person, too. I'm excited to bring it all on stage, and even more excited to see you all out there.
Thank you for another one of those summers.
July 01, 2008
Last night I watched this really amusing film called ‘Employee of the Month’. It would’ve been a pretty good night except that I discovered that this guy I really like cheated on this girl I knew. And guess who the other girl was? ME!
With this discovery everything felt stressful. I really don’t know how to handle this sort of thing yet. But it feels like I’m getting used to it.
I’ve been asked why I constantly upload pictures on facebook. Why do I feel the need to capture moments? Why can’t I just experience it? I think that I’m just trying to pass on one amazing experience to someone else.
One of the things my folks have never understood about me is that I’m very much unlike the person they think they know. I feel like I’ll never be able to explain how I would rather listen to music all day and not search for my future husband or spend time learning to cook. They’ve never felt the bass that thumps your veins or felt the rhythm of a song in their stomachs or understood people pumping their fists when they listen to something they can’t contain their excitement for. I’ve spent so much time away from them in new and different situations in this crazy world, how could I expect them to understand? That’s one of the reasons why I want to move out - there’s just so much of a disconnect. Even if they can’t comprehend why I do the things I do, I hope they can accept it.
Heard a song on the radio today. Used to be one of my favorites when I worked at the radio station. I used to play this song every time I had control over the song selection. I sure do miss my days there. The band’s called Johnny Hates Jazz. They came up with music known as New Romantic pop during the 80's. While the band appeared to be trying too hard to tug at pop-loving hearts, their music was catchy. So for all you 80’s lovers, go ahead and take a listen to this track – Johnny Hates Jazz ‘Heart of Gold’. Enjoy the music.