August 02, 2011

Living with the Frenchman has been a wonderful experience so far. And just like I dreaded, it has changed our relationship radically. But I’ve recognized that that isn’t a horrible thing. It’s interesting how we have progressed from the enjoyable stage of being completely enamored and mushy all over each other to the random damning moments of frustration. What’s even nicer is the fact that we can snap at each other and not feel like the whole world is being lost.

Being around each other day-to-day has just given us the chance to see each other in uncomplimentary lights – and continue to love each other. In fact, from time to time I think the unappealing fragments are what help us to love each other plenty more. It allows us to be honest on a much deeper level, shedding away our need to always look flawless and unspoiled to the other and just be 100% of ourselves. The person that feels particularly lazy on a weekend or when she has a feminist moment or does something thoroughly unladylike and absolutely humiliating? She is the same creature that wakes up next to the Frenchman every day. And he knows it (and still loves me!).

Now in spells when our affectionate attitudes are swapped with slicing sentences that are uttered out of anger or sadness, it hurts less than it would have earlier. So he snapped at me over something I said, or I teasingly made sure he’ll never repeat certain behaviours. The comfort we have come into with this new chapter of our bond has permitted there to be flawed chunks while still retaining essential tendencies of love and admiration. Our link isn’t weak. And we can walk away from those horrid moments and move on with the rest of our day.....of course there is always music to be had.

“Hold you in my arms” is this stunning, gorgeous effort by Ray LaMontagne. And for whatever reason it’s been months and I still find myself coming back to this captivating track. It has been my favorite song to sing along to (alone, at work, at home, in the bathroom). It captures the essence of the vocalist. There is something throughout this song that speaks a familiar language with enough nuance and substance to keep you listening as it unfolds.