January 07, 2009

I feel funny lately, like something huge is about to occur, but I have no idea how to get to it sooner or pass it by. I’ve been occupying my time mainly with writing, and I’ve also been engrossed in this unquenchable longing to be unsociable. There are some people who I usually see regularly, and I’m still just as happy to be with them, but no matter where I am or what I’m doing, some part of my brain is continually counting down to the second when I’m at home, in my room, when there’s me and no-one else. I have no idea what this is all about; it’s not depression, because I know what that’s like, and I’m not miserable, either. I just believe like I’m on the brink of something- something nasty, like sickness, economic ruin or true love.

Things are getting back to normal. It seems as though everyone was stuck in the whole festive mood and now they’re experiencing something like a post-holiday mood… (Luckily for me, I recently had gone through my share of depression). So before the people around me get me all gloomy I’ve decided I’m going to remind myself to stay happy.

Things to be glad about:
I love so many of the same things I loved when I was a little girl. My favorite color is still pink; I embrace colors, create and amuse myself. I think that this is what my life is about sometimes. Being that girl in a bright colored dress or with shiny red loafers you see on the road, in school or college when everyone else is dressed in browns and grays. I’m that girl with red hair you don’t want to gawk at but can’t help taking a quick look over at again and again:
- What’s up with her? Why does she need to show off like that? Is she crazy?

I’ve met aunts who whisper into my ear telling me they wish they could dress themselves the same way I do. One of them called me her ‘inner teen’. It takes work to believe that you can always be stringing your own rainbow. I told my friend yesterday that I was fine. I was lying; I’m great! I could cry from smiling at times, but that might be just too silly?!
I still think there are enough serious grown-ups in the world and life is WAaaaaY too short to be so proper.

Despite the amount of tags we place on music, or the sometimes outlandish sub genres we choose to concoct, it all comes down to whether or not you actually enjoy the music. All that being said I enjoy Jon McLaughlin’s brand of pop.
This track seems to work with reference to the be-happy post. There are still many albums that have been sitting on my desktop, gathering e-dust, waiting to be given a proper listen. Luckily for both of us I will soon get around to attempting to clear out a massive folder I have marked “music for blog.” I’m only waiting for the right mood to strike me, but fear not, I will press on.
For now, it’s Jon McLaughlin with ‘Dance your life away.

Enjoy the music nice and loud.