August 12, 2008

I’ve been trying way too hard. Things feel weird. People feel weird. The world that I’m trying to repair has just progressed beyond weirdness and all that’s left is a big pile of mess that I can’t take charge of. It makes the trying and the caring and the not giving a fuck about all too hard.

…..And then I remind myself to take a gulp of air and sit still.

As I walk down the end of my street I say to myself, ‘Another day. God help me get through it.’ The car should arrive any minute snatching me away from my thoughts. I wait in the cold, my hands clutching my big white bag which is so warm. I inhale the chilly air and I look at my cell phone to see how long I’ve been waiting: 2 minutes. It should be here any moment. This is what Samuel Beckett referred to as Existentialism. Waiting… seemingly endless waiting. People are being weird and I’m being weird today. I pull my bag closer to me. I’m so cold. I hate being cold. I see my car…

I guess this is what they call the winter blues.

As promised, this weekend I did nothing. I just caught up on sleep and recuperated from a full-on week. ‘The Holiday’ was the kind of movie I haven’t watched in awhile. It was ultra mushy and sadistic. It had my tear glands all swollen up. It was 7 years of my life all squished into a one in a half hour movie and I think I’m over this genre. No wait! Maybe after I watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, then I’m over the genre.

In other non-significant news I’m planning a trip to Nagaland in the month of November. I plan to meet relatives and spend some quality time with my best friend Imcha. He’s busy with his designer line so we’ve hardly spoken to each other. After I called him last night and surprised him with my plans to visit his hometown he promised to be there and take me around the place.

That’s really it from me for now. Will leave you with a song I was crazy about awhile ago. ‘Lullaby’ by Atlanta- based artist Shawn Mullins takes me back to some awesome memories. He’s one of those singers that can get you to slow down and focus on the moment. I simply love this song and I think each and every single one of you should promptly hit the play button on the player below so you can love it too.

2 Pulses Say:

Anonymous said...

I love that song lullaby...have you heard Sondre Lerche - Indigo girl? I think u'll like that one too...will send it across ;)

Anonymous said...

Cool. Thanks. Happy Independence Day!