Shouting at the Dead

I’ve got to mention a gorgeous little gentleman (GIG) and while I'm at it I should mention that he rescued me from an awful day. We’ve seen each other at events and chatted a bit but never really spoken before. So, we met up yesterday and discussed Jim Morrison (Yum!), Women’s movement, Tamil and the ex I was trying to avoid looking at. I will spare you the description of the convulsions that racked my mind as I contemplated whether I should walk up and say hi to my ex or not to. GIG kept looking at my straying eyes and to drag me back to reality, he raised his voice and all was well- he had my full attention. But after a minute or so I would try sneaking a peek again and GIG would repeat the same exercise.

After awhile I figured he had had enough of my distraction and asked me if we could leave. I finally gathered up the courage, went up to my ex and said hi. After that was done, GIG took me to the parking lot and just when he was about to take out his bike, he asks me if I wanted pani puri… It’s been ages since I’ve eaten chat, so I said yes.
Apparently, the guy serving us knew GIG so he said something to him in Tamil that made GIG blush! Something about me… I didn’t bother to ask for a translation.

I got a call from an old friend. She’s working on Vodafone’s new advertising campaign. She needs interesting faces. Asked my twin and me to make it. Got to go for a screening first. Will let you know how that goes.

I am in love with him and can’t deal with the fact that he’s moving on to someone new. Every time we see each other I manage to have a smile plastered on my face. This of course was made more difficult by my constant uncertainty about whether me smiling like that would come across as just plain creepy. As soon as he would walk away I would commit ritual suicide in my head because I don’t really know what else I can do to put myself out of my misery. I’d jump out of my balcony but I’m only on the first floor so I don’t suppose I’d cause myself much damage. Pesky things infatuations can be!

"Miles away,
No; you're never turnin' back,
I just can't wait anymore
Miles away,
Nothin' left of what we had,
Just when I needed you most...
You were miles away..."

- 'Miles Away' by Winger

One-Note Wonder - The Bangalorean Eccentric

I’ve never been much of a performer. But it’s really what music does to you before it even reaches the audience. That’s the only reason why singers keep performing. It goes beyond fame, wealth or the audience. Why do I write about music or who do I sing for? Well, it’s plain and simple: I do it for me. I do rob others if I do not share it. But I rob myself most of all if I do not write or sing. A friend asked me once- ‘Do you love music that much?’ ‘Hell yeah!’, I said. “If I didn’t, there’d probably be something wrong with me.” The excitement I get from it is much like when little Lucy found that huge wardrobe. There’s something spiritual about it. Something natural. Something raw. When it feels right you don’t need to apologize for it or justify it.
Are there dimensions to music that drive us as performers or writers- Dimensions related to art? I think so. I believe if we never had these natural drives, then we are something less than artists and our art may appear unreal. Sometimes our fear cuts us off from normal feelings. We often doubt our drives. But I guess the motivation one experiences as an artist transcends ambition.

Ray Charles once said, “I realize everybody’s gotta eat and a lot of people have jobs they don’t like. But when it comes to music, if you can’t get turned on by what you’re doing, then go to work at the post office.”

Shadowing John!

Something else I read on HIS blog-

“What now, then? I can only really say for myself:

Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities.

Stop acting careless. In fact, care more.

Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts.

Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art.

Wear hoodies to dinner.

Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

I'm going quiet now.”

- John Mayer

Musical Amnesia Cured

Today, on my way back home from work I was talking to Runa about songs that make you cry and songs that make you happy. I had so many in my head but couldn’t really zero down on any one particular song. So now that I have had time to think about our little topic, Runa, we have a list-

Tunes that make me smile:

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
David Bowie - Let's Dance
Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - The Time of My Life
Starship - We Built This City
Toto - Africa
Van Halen - Jump
Frank Sinatra’s - The Way You Look Tonight
Beatles- All My Loving, Come Together
Dave Matthew’s Band- American Baby
Sugar Ray- Every Morning and When It’s Over
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
Beautiful Day - U2

While these blockbuster hits are as varied as the artists who've performed them, they all share some common cord: They make you feel good.

That may be the secret sauce.

Now for the list that makes me all gooey eyed:

Cry Me A River - Julie London
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
Here Without You- 3 Doors Down
I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan
Sick Cycle Carousel and You and Me- Lifehouse
Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch
U2- With or Without you

Had a lot more to add to the list but these so far are so perfect and blistering that now I’m off to liven up the mood with some serial killing action with Dexter.

View from the Crack

Over the last few days, it seems like I have been putting myself in situations with someone that I don't feel right with. And before I get too deep into this, I've been giving the whole situation a lot of thought. He is such a great guy but I'm not physically attracted to him and I don't really see how things can go back to friendship. I know I should never look at it with an end in sight and its not like I'm saying that I will give it sometime and then reconsider, but then I do have to think about the possibility of the end of whatever little we have right now so that I can be prepared if need be. I don't know where this will go. I don't know if I want this to go anywhere. I don't know even know if I want to deal with it all right now.



Was I the only one who thought that David Archuleta was gonna win AI since the people who are usually fantastic never win? (I'm talking about Michael John and Asiah Epperson)



Listening to Paolo Nutini… he’s been getting famous. Heard his album when it came out last year. I think the Puma ad got his face showing up everywhere now.





Today I woke up with somebody’s singing and then I realized the person singing was me.

I have absolutely no memory of what I was singing. I’ve been known to say things in my sleep and hence I always have to get up every hour in the night just to check that the noise freaking me out wasn’t my own. I thought I sounded better in my sleep….



Oh… back to Paolo Nutini... Lyrics from his song 'Who's The Fool'

"Now who’s the fool

Taking everything and always wanting more

Now who’s the fool

We see the times we had too prescious to ignore

Now I’m looking at you

What's so clear to me

Now I’m not that sure am I the fool"