June 30, 2008

Enough of Nothing

I envy friends of mine who know exactly what they want to do and where they want to go in life. I envy their courage to risk it all. Like for instance, people who know that at a certain age they want to tie the knot or others who study for a certain course cause they know being a designer or a singer is all what they want to be. I wish I had a singular dream like theirs. For me, this week I’ll intensely believe that I can only work in a music related business and then next week, I’ll probably want to be a writer and then who knows, the week after that I’ll resolve to continue to refine what I’m already doing with hardly anything changed.

When I was in college, we had the book ‘The French Lieutenant’s Woman’ by John Fowles on our syllabus. Last night I watched the movie. The verdict? As usual, the book was better than the movie.

My sister and I were talking about the things we’ll need for our new place. We’ll have to make do with just the necessary stuff for the first few months and then slowly start buying furniture and other appliances. That’s the price I pay for living on my own, I guess. It’s a cool feeling in a way though. After all, isn’t growing up learning to take care of yourself?

Sometimes I tell myself that I’ve got to change but then I’ll be different. I feel like I already am. I’m just afraid that if I’m satisfied with the way I am right now then where’s the impetus to make it better? Feels like I’m all tied up in knots.
Are you going crazy reading this? Then you’re feeling what I’m feeling. Now I’m not sure what point I was trying to make.

CK, the new hotness, came into work today, in formals. Been working with him for a year now and I’ve never seen him formals. I can’t say enough about it. He looked pretty smart.

Yesterday, I turned on the television, just in time to see British rock band Athlete’s ‘Wires’. It’s the lead single from their second album, Tourist. The track sounds hauntingly beautiful. It’s been said that the song was written by lead singer Joel Potts, after his daughter was born prematurely.

‘Running, down corridoors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know’

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