The shortest affair I’ve ever had!

This weekend sported party night and normally I'd be totally cool with anything that involved alcohol and shaking my booty, you know me. But I don't think I could handle it every weekend. I'm exhausted.

My friends and I went to this sorta popular club in the city. They, who had partied last when MC Hammer was all the rage, complained and grumbled, while the bass line crushed pancakes of my already-frail serenity levels. So I was happy when my ex, surprisingly, took me up on the offer of joining us at the club (which by this point, meeting up with him were fairly rare events).

I slipped back into the warm place I had left on the couch and watched as he danced on the floor.
Filled with unsure well-being, I was up to the usual: drinking a long island iced tea, boring the fingers off a friend on my mobile, and checking out the local talent. Glancing up from my cell phone I caught someone staring at me. That someone was a young woman of 5’4, who wore a long shirt over leggings kinda reminding of the young Joan Jett. Her happy pretty face opened into the biggest smile I think I've ever seen. I told Runa then that I was in love with a girl, and I meant it for like five minutes. Busy chatting with my companions instead of keeping tabs on what was happening, I missed her leaving the lounge and for fifteen minutes I literally prayed to God for her return. My ex wouldn’t speak to me properly and I realized this night was going all wrong. So I took his hand and went onto the middle of the dance floor. His eyes said that he had missed me. Everything that every girl wants to hear. Except for this girl. I moped a bit until I downed my drink, danced with my back to him and blacked out everything. Seconds later he startled me out of my trance by holding me. His breath sounded very loud and heavy next to my ear. For once, this was not a turn-on. I tried to say something, but my own voice, by contrast, sounded heavy and slurred. I might be drunk, I realized.

While dancing with him, I felt someone coming really close to me so I turned to face the enemy who had invaded my dance space and then saw her. She was holding out her hand towards me, I took it and smiled so big that I needed chapstick after. We danced together for ten minutes until my ex grabbed me back. I kept looking at her, dancing close and going away. The music stopped and when I turned around she was leaving. My distress was needlessly profound for how little I had done to hold her attention. I made my best frownie face and waved goodbye. She waved back and was gone. I broke away from his arms and packed up to leave the lounge. Outside we stand and it’s awkward.

"So you’re leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah,” I replied. There was no admission of guilt or rationalization. Just open-eyed honesty, which was tough to be, at that moment.
I let myself be hugged, and perhaps hugged him back a little, taking pleasure in the feeling of being wanted without being had. I wondered what kept me from doing something that I wouldn't be at error in doing. In short what stops me from consuming forbidden fruit when the fruit is essentially hopping out of its skin, pleading to be had?

I could have been another kind of woman. But the woman I am, moved his hand away and walked towards my ride. Went to her room alone. And fell back in hate with her city.

So on that note this post is for the girl who stole the night away and who reminds of a very bollywood-ish version of Joan Jett. And thinking about Joan Jett, got me watching all her videos this morning, when I had this sudden realization: I will never love another musician quite the same way I loved Joan Jett. And that made me kinda sad. I have quite a few favourite bands right now, but I couldn't tell you what all their names are, nor could I name five songs off their current album by title. But with Joan Jett, I knew every song and video, I knew so much about her and...I knew (and, frighteningly, still do) every frame of every video by heart. The videos instantly transported me back the days when my best friend was a Sherrie and a Shane and I would sit there watching 'Crimson & Clover' over, and over, and over again, all of us drooling over Miss Jett. And I miss that. I definitely don't miss being a teenager and fighting with my parents or hating high school, but I miss being that dutiful to a band and feeling like I knew them.

Oh, doesn’t Katherine Moennig look painfully similar to Miss Jett?

August's End

There was an office party on Friday night. The experience was frightening and yet ultimately satisfactory, if only for the tons of alcohol I consumed while I was there. I had called Mr. Flirt and I still have no idea what I spoke to him about but my colleagues told me I was missing for over two hours. I spent the rest of the night, drowning in more alcohol and dancing…..Oh yeah! There was dancing! - Which was very surprising figuring the dance ban hasn’t been lifted?

I'm prone to crippling shyness and I'm not that much of a goody two shoes (Left to my own devices I'm prone to being very naughty, but you get the point.) Therefore, the idea that clubs are the easiest way for a woman to meet a man has never really worked for me. Catch me in the right mood and I can be awfully sociable. I rely on alcohol to loosen me up and since I'm pretty shy, I don't really have much natural grace to politely repel the unwanted advances of guys who creep me out. The whole night was such a bizarre mix of the familiar and the terrifyingly that I didn't really know what to do with myself afterwards, so I just went home and hit the sack.
Everyone who lives in B’lore and hasn't already seen it should immediately get tickets to 'All Shook Up' by Leila Alvares. It’s been awhile since I’ve spent an evening at the theater. The musical closes tomorrow, so don't delay.

Since Mr. Flirt and I have started talking to each other for long hours he has wanted me to express my thoughts, even when they are unpleasant. I don't know where he came up with such a disgusting idea--probably the same place he got the ridiculous notion that I think he’s my world. So in order to punish him I have been taking him at his word and I’ve been getting him really worked up lately.

Today was my concert with the band. Yay! I’m so happy it’s finally over! I was at practices the entire day and I hadn’t decided what to wear. So I had to throw together an outfit at the last minute from whatever I could find in my closet; I ended up making a very lucky choice, because I think I looked really good. My eyes were constantly glued to the monitor. I didn’t look up at the audience- I was so scared. It’s a tough thing to get up in front of an audience of about a thousand people and act cool and professional, or atleast not like you’re going to have a panic attack. The guitarist did an awesome job. I think he stole my thunder but it wasn’t more than I could bear. Chatter died and interest spiked when our band came up on stage. I bet it was the music that got everyone hooked to the performance. Standing ovation. We were forced to believe that we had done a good enough job.
I shall sign off for now with this track my boss gave me to listen to over the weekend. The Hold Steady with ‘First Night’. Tell me what you think of it. Hope you guys had a great weekend.