July 07, 2008

Oceans without Walls

I screwed up the weekend. I acted like such a dimwit on Friday that I spent the entire weekend getting over the hangover and regretting it all. I realized I had lost out on a chance to take some amazing pictures on Friday night because the batteries in my camera died on me. But I’m happy that after such a long time the entire crew was able to make it. I’m just sad that I didn’t capture any of those moments.

On Saturday evening I replied to the crooner’s message and then the sms’es just kept flowing in. On Sunday, I told myself a 100 times over that I’ll have to let him go. I was pretty proud of myself for not giving into his charm and it would be rather awesome if I could keep this up. But sometimes I think of just picking up the phone and dialing his number. I just have to continue to push myself. Keep myself moving into that place where I won’t feel so weak, so emotional. Mental conflict! I think it’s time for me to crawl back into my little shell. It’s kept me quite safe and I’ve been doing it for a long time. So I’ll be stunting my social growth now more than ever.

I’m really mad about losing my mind. My friends really dislike the crooner and it makes it even harder when I can’t talk to them about my feelings for him. Today, I’ve gotten myself to the office with a note in my head, which I keep going over again and again:

Slow down. Waaaayyyy Down.

Think twice before you react to something. Don’t snap at people just cos you’re in a bad mood.

And, always carry spare batteries.

Is it just me or does anyone else out there need to listen to music to do any work? I just can’t concentrate on what I’m doing, be it writing or working, if I can’t have music playing in my head. That’s me during the beginning of the day. Post lunch it’s just music. No work, no videos, just listening to music. The aim is to just listen - every note, every word, every second of it and try to take all of it in.

I wish I knew how to deal with things.

I wish I was somewhere else right now.

I wish I could let go of the people in this world.

I wish I could do something that matters.

I think Foo Fighters should be given more accolades, more power and more love. Sure they’re huge but they are so much more than just that a band. They are masters of everything they touch. Everything. I have a weakness to like anything that they’ve worked on. This is an acoustic version of the song ‘Everlong’ and I think it sounds brilliant. I grabbed the audio, converted it to a delectable little mp3 and I’m putting it up here. This is for the crooner Have a great Monday y’all!

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