Reflections on Music and Events

I made a decision today… on impulse. A series of events had kinda driven me to this. The end result was... (No, I didn’t quit!) I applied for another job. Fingers crossed.
I’m having a hard time with the thought of leaving the friends I’ve made here but I think it’s time that I find a job related to writing, either for doing reviews and feature articles or whatever else there is. I don’t really know if I want to leave my company but I’m checking my options out there because that’s the kind of thing I hear irrational people do.

What do I need for my new house? That’s the question I’ve been asking everyone I know. I’ve been keeping a list of all the necessary things I’ll need for our new place. Fear, I’ll have to reach into my savings if a few other unforeseen necessities come up.
Man, I hope we’re still moving.

Do you ever get annoyed when you’re standing next to this guy, who's looking in your direction and says something. You ask, ‘Whaaat??’ and realize that he’s wearing one of those damn

blue tooth ear pieces and talking on it? I felt like bitch slapping that guy. But it wouldn’t be all that annoying if I got myself one of those babies.

My good friend Tony Das is going to perform at the Opus (again) this friday. So, even if you’ve something better to do (which I doubt, because it’s Tony performing at the Opus), get your butt there and book yourself in for a treat.

I live in the south of India where nothing bizarrely amazing ever happens. Which is probably why I have so much free time to listen to music and write posts daily.

Once again, the time has come for me to post my favorite track for the day. For those of you interested (I’m pretending that you care and you pretend that you’re reading this) you can listen to the track by hitting ‘play’. Close your eyes while you listen to this track. Try it. It’s better than drugs and it’s free. This song has everything in it to make it a new piece of art. I know the album has only been out for a little time, but this single hits all the right buttons at all the right moments. Coldplay brings ya ‘Lost’:

Enough of Nothing

I envy friends of mine who know exactly what they want to do and where they want to go in life. I envy their courage to risk it all. Like for instance, people who know that at a certain age they want to tie the knot or others who study for a certain course cause they know being a designer or a singer is all what they want to be. I wish I had a singular dream like theirs. For me, this week I’ll intensely believe that I can only work in a music related business and then next week, I’ll probably want to be a writer and then who knows, the week after that I’ll resolve to continue to refine what I’m already doing with hardly anything changed.

When I was in college, we had the book ‘The French Lieutenant’s Woman’ by John Fowles on our syllabus. Last night I watched the movie. The verdict? As usual, the book was better than the movie.

My sister and I were talking about the things we’ll need for our new place. We’ll have to make do with just the necessary stuff for the first few months and then slowly start buying furniture and other appliances. That’s the price I pay for living on my own, I guess. It’s a cool feeling in a way though. After all, isn’t growing up learning to take care of yourself?

Sometimes I tell myself that I’ve got to change but then I’ll be different. I feel like I already am. I’m just afraid that if I’m satisfied with the way I am right now then where’s the impetus to make it better? Feels like I’m all tied up in knots.
Are you going crazy reading this? Then you’re feeling what I’m feeling. Now I’m not sure what point I was trying to make.

CK, the new hotness, came into work today, in formals. Been working with him for a year now and I’ve never seen him formals. I can’t say enough about it. He looked pretty smart.

Yesterday, I turned on the television, just in time to see British rock band Athlete’s ‘Wires’. It’s the lead single from their second album, Tourist. The track sounds hauntingly beautiful. It’s been said that the song was written by lead singer Joel Potts, after his daughter was born prematurely.

‘Running, down corridoors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know’

Attempts to Heal Myself

I got up at noon and that was the best sleep I’ve had in months. Had breakfast and checked Facebook for awhile. Caught up with my sis. Haven’t seen her all week. Moving- out- day is coming very close and I still have to let my parents know about the decision. Today was pretty uneventful. Cleaned my room and watched The Bank Job.

I generally write when I’ve got something bothering me and writing it out is a way for me to find expression for the unease, pressure or rage I feel. I’d prefer writing things I’ve experienced, with the intention of being objective, where the magic is between the lines. I need to do more of that.

This guy I like came online today. Somehow we don’t talk like we used to anymore. Maybe he expected that a night of fun would just be that. Apparently, I took things seriously and I seemed to have scared him away. God, I miss him. Kind of inspiring in a way that he left to do something he was passionate about. But also not. I’ll bet he hurt a lot of people. But it’s okay because he’s an artist, right? Or is it okay because we all hurt people even if we try not to? Why do I wonder? Whywhywhywhywhy. Whinewhinewhine.

So if you e-mail somebody a few times and he doesn't respond. There are three possibilities:

Possibility No. 1 - It doesn't matter if you send multiple mails or messages and get him irritated. He wasn't interested in you to begin with. Then he deserves the annoyance for being absolutely inconsiderate.

Possibility No. 2 - Eventually he gets to your many messages and responds since he is your soul mate.

Possibility No. 3 – If he never gets to your mails, well, you're just fucked and not in a good way.
Of course, if he still hasn’t written to you it’s cause he’s been so busy with something important and he finally checks his mail and sees the many messages from this total psycho who seemed kind of charming and funny at first but is clearly not someone he wants in his life?
Not that any of this is going through my head.

But if, by chance, you are reading this and still remember the drunken night at 13th Floor then please mail me.

Last Saturday at Taika’s was pretty insane. I’ve never seen a club packed so full of people dancing to Boney M. The crowd at most of these clubs is so funny. You have your regular clubber types… then your sloppy drunk types… and finally the most entertaining bunch… the middle aged types. I don’t know where I fall in. Used to belong to the first group a long time ago, now I think with a sufficient amount of alcohol in my body it’ll be the second type. I saw a guy in pajamas. Wish I had taken my camera with me.

I need to give my drum sticks away. They stare at me quite cruelly, a constant reminder of an unaccomplished passion. I figure if the sticks are just going to be sitting here, I should give it to someone who would actually put them to use.

I’m sick of being depressed. How do people who are happy stay happy? How do they ignore all the shit that happens in the world and not feel guilty? I really want to know and be like them.
I wish I was a better Christian. I think I’d be a lot happier.

Switchfoot's 'Only Hope':